


Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Guide to Personal Chemistry

by Spunky0ne



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 21:14:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3333083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunky0ne/pseuds/Spunky0ne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuya and Kenpachi's antics land them on loan to Mayuri for a mission into the Dangai, but instead the twelfth division captain plans to use the two in his experiments...yaoi, mpreg</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mad Science

_Squad 12 Captain's log Entry 212014: I don't know why I even bother with this record. There is nothing going on worthy of wasting a scientist's time chatting about and I have no interest in talk when there are things to be explored...things to be done. Although half of my latest batch of ingenious studies have just been scrapped by that philandering drunk of a head captain! Why was he chosen anyway? Weren't we at enough of a disadvantage in the quincy war with no leader? Having a raving drunk and girl chasing leader is even worse!_

_And to make things even more unpleasant, ever since his banishment was lifted, that scheming bastard, Urahara can't keep his nose out of everything I am doing! I want to make him my next experiment. I want to poison him with something that turns him into a writhing, slobbering puddle on the floor! He deserves as much and worse! And what's more..._

The twelfth division captain's fingers stopped, poised in the air over the keyboard as two raised voices sounded.

"I was gonna shred your pansy-ass and you know it!" Kenpachi's gruff voice rasped in annoyance, "I don't care what pretty new toys the king gave you. I was going to crush you if..."

"If you hadn't forgotten that we were training without reiatsu restraints to protect the area around our duel," Byakuya's solemn voice intoned haughtily, "I told you that it was a bad idea and we should have trained in Hueco Mundo where we would have been able to fight at full power without wrecking everything around us and putting Head Captain Kyouraku in a position to have to discipline us. Just be glad that his punishment was to have us assigned to patrol the precipice world and it wasn't to just have us assigned to be that insane fool's research subjects!"

"Ahem," Kurotsuchi said, standing, crossing his arms and glaring at the other two captains.

He waited for Byakuya to apologize for what he'd said, then realized how foolish it was to think that the squad six captain would ever do such a thing as apologize for his rudeness.

"What do you two want?" he said crossly, "I am far too busy to entertain a brute and a stuffy prince. So, out with it. Why are you here? Be done with it and be on your way!"

"We have been assigned to patrol the precipice world," Byakuya said, turning a cold, gray eye on Kenpachi. The captain commander ordered us to report here to be dispatched to the area at once."

"Oh ho ho!" the scientist chortled in amusement, "Goofing off again and getting yourselves into trouble, ne?"

"What th'hell? We were just training!" complained Kenpachi.

"Ah yes, training," Kurotsuchi mused, calling up the images of destruction from their fight onto his screen, "It seems that you incompetent louts tore up a big section of the Seireitei with your ridiculous attempt at training that did not include the proper restraints. How unsurprisingly stupid of you both!"

"Eh, shut up and point us in the right direction," Kenpachi growled, his eyes glowing a dangerous golden, "We have shit to do."

"We haven't time to trifle with you," Byakuya agreed, more properly stated, but every bit as rude.

"I ought to feed the two of you directly to the cleaner," Kurotsuchi seethed, "except that even it has more sense than to want to spend five minutes with the likes of you two! You give new meaning to the word unpleasant."

"We shall be happy to redefine it for you, yet again, if you do not cease annoying us and lay out the correct path for us," Byakuya offered sternly.

"As though that smelly baboon with you could find the correct path even if it was right in front of his eyes," Kurotsuchi muttered, tapping angrily at the keys on his computer.

"That is why I am here," Byakuya said evenly.

"No, that mess on my screen is why you are both here!"

As the squad twelve captain worked, he watched the other two captains out of the corner of an eye, his dark mind finally coming back to life as he plotted out horrid ends for the two of them.

_Although, if I kill them, I may just end up back in the Maggot's Nest, given that they probably want that blasted Urahara reinstated anyway! So I can't kill these two, but hmmm, maybe I can use my knowledge of the precipice world and their 'patrol' time to torture them a little! If they like fighting so much, then I will just give them a place suitable for that. There's no problem with that, I don't think._

_Although, they may have a problem with the fact that I will control everything in their little world with mere taps of my fingertips_

"Come on!" Kenpachi yawned, "Give us the path already. I wanna get this over with."

"I wouldn't want the person programming your path in to rush, if I was you. The precipice world is a dangerous place. One wrong step and you'd disappear, never to be seen again."

"And wouldn't that be a pity," Byakuya said dryly, "to have that barbarian disappear forever..."

"Just remember that you are going to be with that barbarian. So whatever befalls him will certainly affect you as well."

"Be that as it may, we would like to begin our patrol as soon as humanly possible so that we can be done with it and part ways again quickly."

"What he said," Kenpachi rumbled.

"Fine, fine," Kurotsuchi said, looking down at his screen, then smirking to himself and altering the path slightly, "There."

Two hell butterflies floated into the room and fluttered in front of the captains as a senkaimon opened.

"Enjoy your patrol, fools," the scientist said under his breath as he watched the eleventh and sixth squad captains disappear down the chosen path.

As the doorway into the precipice world closed behind them, Kurotsuchi loosed a pleased snicker and returned to his computer.

"Ah, the day just got much more interesting!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Where the hell are you takin' us, princess?" Kenpachi asked impatiently as Byakuya paused and studied the corridor carefully, then frowned and looked more closely at the hell butterfly leading them, "It's not so hard, right? Following the path we've been given. Or are you suddenly as clueless about directions as I am? That makes you kind of a hypocrite, doesn't it?"

"Be quiet, you smelly baboon. I'm thinking that there is a problem with the path we were given. This looks wrong."

"Well, I wouldn't put it past that creepy bastard to give us a bum steer, but it's not like he can kill us and get away with it, so I say we follow the damned butterflies and you keep your trap shut and your conspiracy theories to yourself."

Byakuya glowered threateningly at the other captain, but then straightened and continued along the path.

"So, when we get back, you wanna go to Hueco Mundo and let loose on each other?"

"Oh, now he wants to listen to the advice I gave him. What? Is it my birthday?" Byakuya huffed, remembering suddenly the savory dinner, cake and gifts he had enjoyed with Renji, Rukia, Tetsuya and Ichigo the night before.

"Oh yeah, it was your birthday yesterday, wasn't it?" mused Kenpachi, "Well, whenever the hell we get back, I'll buy you a drink and give you your birthday pounding. How's that?"

"I cannot wait," Byakuya sighed in annoyance, "That sounds so much better than the walk in the gardens and moongazing I had planned."

"Well, I do my best," Kenpachi drawled, grinning, "Anyone can give you a special dinner and a cake, but no one makes you bleed like I do."

"I would have to admit that is true. It is unfortunate for you that I do not have an affinity for bleeding for you."

"You might not, but you're not boring. And as boring as most other people are, that makes you good company."

"I am so flattered," the noble said in a deadpan voice, "After all, amusing you is what I live for."

"You know it," Kenpachi chuckled, looking around questioningly.

"Is something wrong?" Byakuya asked in a disinterested tone.

"You hear that?"

The noble slowed, then stopped as the distant hum moved closer and grew louder.

"I hope that thing's in the next corridor. This would be a bad place for us to run into it. So, is this what you were worried about?"

Byakuya's frown deepened.

"Not yet, but it is quickly moving in that direction. We should take this branch."

"Is that what the hell butterfly says?" asked Kenpachi.

"Forget what the butterfly says," the noble said tersely, "Isn't it clear to you that, that crackpot scientist purposely placed us in the path of that thing for a reason?"

"You're dreaming. He wouldn't have the balls..."

"No?" Byakuya asked sarcastically as the cleaner appeared ahead of them and rushed towards them.

"Aww, fuck, I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!" Kenpachi roared, breaking into a run, "You coming, princess? Or are you planning on getting eaten by that thing?"

Byakuya turned and flash stepped after his running colleague.

"I'm going to take your head off if you continue to insist on calling me that!" Byakuya snapped falling into stride next to the other man

"What's your problem?" chuckled Kenpachi, "I just call you that cause you're a pretty boy. I respect your sword."

"You'd better!" the noble said warningly, "Run faster, you fool. That thing is gaining on us! Damn you for not persevering at your flash step! You are a poor excuse for a captain."

"Yeah? Well they had to make me one after I cut down the last one."

"That is one backdoor into captaincy that I would very much like to see closed..."

The two turned a corner and looked back over their shoulders and groaned as the cleaner followed.

"Damn, get the hell off!" Kenpachi panted, running faster, "Hey, Kuchiki, you can go on ahead. You're faster."

"I am not going to lower my pride and let a comrade die. Move faster. I don't want to have to turn and take that thing on."

"Turn and take that thing on...hmmm," Kenpachi mused, his feet slowing and his body turning back.

"Kenpachi, what are you doing!" Byakuya cried, his eyes widening.

A chill went through him as the eleventh squad captain began to laugh loudly and stopped in front of the approaching cleaner, drawing his sword.

"Come on, you big shiny bastard," Kenpachi mocked the cleaner, "Come and show me what you've got!"

"Kenpachi, have you lost your mind?" Byakuya shouted, launching himself at his colleague and firing a blast of kido at the wall, where he caught sight of a dim outline.

"Oof!" grunted the big man as Byakuya's smaller, but respectably powered body struck his and the two crashed through the doorway.

A moment later, they began to fall through what appeared to be a heavy rainstorm.

"Kuchiki, you asshole!" howled Kenpachi, "I am kicking your pretty round butt when I find you!"

They crashed down into water and kicked furiously for the surface, shedding their heavy haoris and heading for the shore. Byakuya paused as Kenpachi went under, then surfaced and bobbed unsteadily for a moment before sinking again.

_He doesn't know how to swim?_

He angled his body in the direction where the other man had been and arrived there, moments later.

"Kenpachi!" he called urgently, looking around.

A hand took hold of his foot and yanked him down. Byakuya took hold of the person's arm and hauled him to the surface, scowling as Kenpachi surfaced and choked on the water, spewing it all over his piqued colleague.

"Baka!" the noble panted, ducking his head into the water to clean the area.

He grabbed the front of the other man's shihakushou and dragged him out of the deeper water, then the two staggered onto the shore and collapsed in the wet sand, working to catch their breath.

"Thanks, princess," Kenpachi managed, "I think I would have met my maker if you hadn't helped me out."

"Don't worry," Byakuya said wearily, "I won't forget that you owe me."

"Naw, not you."

The two men climbed to their feet and looked back out over the dark waters.

"Looks like we'll be in trouble for losing our haoris again," Kenpachi mused, scratching the back of his neck, "Good thing Kyouraku isn't such a dick about that as old man Yama was."

"Lucky for us," the noble agreed, looking around.

He spotted a partially covered area under a cliff, near the water and motioned towards it.

"That looks like a place we might get out of the rain."

"Sure," Kenpachi said, following him to the small recess.

The depression in the rocks was somewhat small, requiring the two men to huddle close together to enjoy protection from the rain.

"So, what now?" Kenpachi asked, "You know any way to get back?"

"No," Byakuya said, looking out into the darkness.

"Well, then why the hell'd you bring us down here?" the bigger man complained, "I coulda taken that thing on, and we'd be doing our stupid patrol and not sitting here getting wet and freezing cold!"

"You're insane!" Byakuya said, turning aside to avoid looking at the other man, "The cleaner would have swallowed you up and you would be dead!"

"Aww, what's that? You sound like you really care. Would you miss me if I was gone, princess?"

"Not in the slightest," Byakuya replied dryly, "It was only a matter of honor that I could not allow even a stupid fool of a comrade to die if I was in a position to save him. That's all."

"And you say I'm nuts," the big man laughed, "I say that's nuts!"

"Exactly what I would expect from you," Byakuya huffed, shivering, "You know nothing of using proper manners or the rules of chivalry!"

"No," agreed Kenpachi, "I know about beating the shit out of things that try to kill me and killing. Those are my talents."

"Well, as much as we may need those talents now that we are trapped here, I would trade them for a warm blanket and a pillow right now."

"Yeah," Kenpachi mused, thinking back to his childhood in the low Rukongai, "Well, it looks like we've left the land of prissy nobles and splashed down into the wilderness, so if you want a pillow, you're gonna have to choose between that rock and my shoulder."

"Oh, let me think..."

"Be nice or I'll take back the offer," Kenpachi said, yanking the noble closer, then watching as Byakuya sniffed disapprovingly, then rested against the bigger man's shoulder. He was surprised at how quickly the cold went away as warmth radiated between them.

"Why don't you sleep first?" Kenpachi offered, "I'll keep watch."

"You'll probably fall asleep and we'll be monster bait before morning," Byakuya surmised, "You know that the door we came through marked the area as restricted. That means it's dangerous."

"I know what it means. Now, shut yer yap and get some sleep. I've got this."

"Are you sure?" Byakuya yawned, resting against the other man more firmly.

"Yeah."

"Very well."

Byakuya closed his eyes and slowly drifted off, losing awareness and completely missing the point at which an odd gas hissed out of the rock they leaned against and Kenpachi dropped off to sleep too.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi watched the monitor in front of him, snickering as Kenpachi began to snore loudly.

"Ah...this should be fun! A scientific study on whether or not a struggle to survive can bring two opposites together. I am really going to enjoy this!"

"Enjoy what?" asked Shunsui's calm, relaxed voice, "What are you doing there, Captain Kurotsuchi? Did you send those two off on their patrol?"

"Yes, yes," Kurotsuchi said impatiently, switching hastily to a different display, "You wanted them on patrol. They're on patrol. It hardly seems necessary for the captain commander to be about, checking up on rule breakers."

"Just doing my job," said the head captain, "You be sure and forward their reports as soon as they start coming in, okay?"

"Yes, whatever!" the twelfth squad captain said off-handedly, "Be on your way! I am busy here!"

"I'll expect to hear from you later then."

"Yes, yes," Mayuri said, flipping back to the display of the two sleeping captains, "I have a plan in mind for that too..."


	2. Upside Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenpachi takes a drastic action to save his dying comrade.

_Squad 12 captain's log entry 212015: Finally! Something to do that is worthy of my attention. I have commenced the first phase of my newest experiment on creating and building the personal chemistry between people with absolutely none! My two subjects for the experiment are polar opposites, and two men who can't seem to share a room without glares, ugly threats and promises of bloodshed. We have the lovely, but terribly arrogant and snobbish Captain Kuchiki and the barbaric and bloodthirsty Captain Zaraki. Their antics have earned them time in the precipice world, which has created the perfect opportunity for me to study them up close in a setting that will either cause them to bond or to perhaps, more interestingly, to slaughter each other. ___

_In phase one of the experiment, the two subjects entered the precipice world and were shortly after, pursued by the cleaner. Surprisingly, although he could have merely saved himself, our arrogant Captain Kuchiki actually saved his beastly comrade by punching a hole into the wall and entering a restricted zone. After filing a reprimand and requesting that his punishment for destructive mischief be lengthened, I gave the matter some thought and have concluded that it was only a sense of duty to a comrade that caused Captain Kuchiki to act that way. He may be above the rest of us, but he does seem to function according to basic rules of chivalry. Captain Zaraki, on the other hand, is no such thing as chivalrous, I think. I will be testing that in phase 2._

_Phase 2 of the experiment will test Captain Zaraki's sense of camaraderie and fellowship. When offered a choice between killing something and saving a comrade, what will he choose? For this experiment, I fogged the two and allowed two of the wicked denizens of that pocket dimension to capture Captain Kuchiki. I had to induce a bit of pain and make some distraction so the little devils didn't actually kill Captain Kuchiki right away. Captain Zaraki provided a wonderful distraction when I let him wake to find Captain Kuchiki gone and signs of a struggle. Despite the barbarian's extreme lack of intelligence and poor sense of direction, he managed to follow the extremely careless trail the abductors left and is approaching the encampment now. I don't know whether to hope he arrives before or after the little devils roast and eat Captain Kuchiki. Ah, decisions, decisions!_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ugh!" Byakuya groaned discontentedly, cracking his eyes open and reeling for a moment as he ingested the extreme wrongness and precariousness of his situation.

His body, he found, was bound and suspended upside down from a tall oak tree, poised over what looked to be hard, unforgiving ground.

"That stupid fool!" he hissed furiously, "I knew he would fall asleep! And I'll bet it was that blasted snoring of his that led whoever did this to me right to us. Damn him!"

He was careful to turn his head very slowly, this way and that, to survey his surroundings. Still before sunrise, it was impossible to see very far, and it appeared that whomever or whatever his captor, the beast or beasts had abandoned him, probably banking on his inability to affect his situation to keep the shinigami from escaping his predicament.

"But this is easily dealt with," the noble breathed softly, focusing briefly to let his power flow through him.

He caught his breath a moment later at realizing that nothing at all had happened. Stunned, he tried again and was met with the same disturbing result.

_Impossible. But not insurmountable._

He looked around again to make sure that he was not being watched and extended his senses.

_Strange. I understand that they have sealed my greater powers, but that shouldn't affect my innate ability to sense the reiatsu of my captors. What is going on?_

But whatever the case, the presence of a stack of wood and several jagged, rusty knives on the ground beneath where he hung left little doubt about what his captors were planning to do with him.

_Well, able to sense them or not, I cannot simply hang here and wait to become their food._

Looking around, he found a few strong looking branches hanging near him and carefully took hold of them. Gripping tightly, he was able to somewhat right himself and gradually worked his way to the knot that held him at the ankles. Although having to contort his body painfully, he worked slowly at the knot, pausing now and again to survey the brightening land around him. He heard voices and scuffling footsteps nearby and hastened his efforts, but was still not yet freed when his captors returned.

The two that stumbled back into the clearing looked vaguely like bears, but with ragged, patched fur, even more ragged and particularly smelly animal skin clothing and what looked to be wickedly sharp, retractable claws that emerged immediately upon seeing that their captive was attempting an escape. They charged immediately towards him, hissing and squealing loudly, then bounding onto the tree and using their claws to facilitate their climbing.

"Oh, this is not good!" Byakuya noted unhappily, drawing back and thrusting a foot at the one who reached him first.

The attack struck the attacking beast squarely in the face, stunning him enough to make him fall from the tree. He crashed down to the ground and loosed a howl sure to bring the return of any and all of the others like it.

Up in the tree, the second beast saw the downfall of his comrade and advanced more cautiously, drawing his lips back and revealing teeth as razor sharp as his claws.

_Ugh, if his claws and teeth don't make an end of me, I think his horrid breath and body odor will. He is as nasty and pungent as that bastard, Kenpachi._

_I am going to kill that bastard for wandering off without waking me!_

_But I had best make sure I don't die first._

He turned his attention back to the snarling, hissing and, unfortunately, spitting beast that crouched near him, clinging tightly to the branch he was tied to and approaching him more carefully than his ill-fated comrade had. Byakuya dodged one slash of the creature's claws, but made a sound of pain as the beast quickly altered his aim and caught the evading captain with a second slash. Blood leaked from the substantial wound, runnning down the injured captain's arm and falling in droplets.

Beneath the two, the beast that had fallen blinked as a drop of blood nearly landed in his eye. He paused, sniffing and catching the scent of the blood, then removed the droplet with a padded finger and tasted it. He emitted a purr of delight and danced around, making an odd, squeaking and clicking noise, urging the one still in the tree to provide more of the unexpected treat. A few more drops fell and the beast on the ground howled impatiently, yapping at its comrade to hurry and finish their prey.

Up in the tree, the creature lowered its head and fixed its narrowed eyes on Byakuya's, watching him closely as it moved out onto the branch that held the shinigami captain. Byakuya swallowed hard, gauging his weight and that of the approaching beast and concluding that he was either about to die, either from having his entrails cut out or by falling to the ground, where he would probably sustain moderate to serious injuries before being eaten by the creature under the tree.

His estimate of doom became even gloomier as several more of the creatures burst out of the brush, squeaking and clicking like the beast under the tree. They joined their ugly comrade in dancing about and snapping their jaws in anticipation as the creature in the tree growled more fiercely and reached out to slash at Byakuya again. Luck was with the cornered captain and although the beast scored another solid slash, it lost its balance and fell onto its riled comrades. To Byakuya's surprise and morbid fascination, the ones beneath immediately ripped the creature apart and ate him instead.

_Kami! They are complete savages. I wonder if it even registered it was their own comrade and not me._

He stared as the ones below licked the blood from their fingers and then breathlessly shifted to make himself less visible. The ploy seemed to work, which surprised and pleased the trapped captain to no end. He began to work at the rope that still bound one of his two feet, while keeping an eye on the enemies that moved about below him, smacking their lips and scuffling with each other as they pondered what to do next.

_They really are just about as stupid as that brute, Kenpachi..._

But stupid or not, the beasts didn't miss the moment when a few more drops of blood dripped off Byakuya's extended arm and splashed onto a few of them.

 _Damn!_ Byakuya thought, working faster at the stubborn knot as two more of the scraggly beasts began climbing the tree.

He couldn't spare the attention to note why, all of a sudden, the ones beneath the tree suddenly quieted for a moment. It was a race against time as the two enemies quickly scaled the tree trunk and raced towards Byakuya. He just managed to pull free of his bindings as the two reached the branch that held him and dashed towards him. They realized a moment too late that they should, perhaps, have had one approach, due to the limits of what the branch could hold. The limb gave way with an audible snap and the two beasts screeched and fell.

Byakuya, for his part, managed to grab several branches, distributing his weight so that he hung precariously, only scant inches out of the reach of the creatures on the ground. Luckily for him, whatever had made them pause now had their full attention. Even the two that had fallen from the tree, squealed and joined their comrades as the group encountered the tall, grinning form of Kenpachi Zaraki.

"All right, you little shits, out of the way! Yo, Kuchiki, are you going to hang around there all day or get your ass down outta that tree and do your job!"

"What's wrong?" Byakuya asked haughtily, "You can't fight them on your own?"

"These guys aren't worth my time. You do it!"

"They've sealed away my powers," the noble informed his scowling comrade.

"So what?" Zaraki yelled, swinging a foot and sending one of the little beasts flying, "Just kick their asses and let's go! I'm bored."

"You stupid...!"

Byakuya's breath left him as one of their scraggly enemies raced up the tree and dashed out onto one of the branches holding the noble. Several of the branches snapped at once, and Byakuya felt himself beginning to fall. Bereft of his flash step and still without his powers in addition to not having time to recover himself, the noble crashed into the unforgiving ground and lost consciousness for a moment. He woke almost immediately, just in time to hear Kenpachi laugh at him and spit out something insulting. Then, a furry, but wickedly snarling face approached his, and through the haze before his eyes, Byakuya numbly realized he was about to die.

_This can't be happening. How can things have gone this wrong? My powers won't work, not even my innate abilities and I cannot even move!_

_Ken...pachi!_

He stared into the deadly eyes of the one about to kill him, and was still staring as the tip of a sword suddenly emerged from the beast's chest and Zaraki's tall form appeared behind him.

"Damn it!" Kenpachi swore, flicking his weapon aside and watching the dead creature slide off the end, "I can't believe I bloodied my sword on something so unworthy. You're gonna pay for making me do that, Kuchiki. Now, get up!"

He waited for a moment, glaring down at the unconscious and bloodied Captain Kuchiki, then he sighed resignedly.

"Fuck! You're a disgrace. I oughta leave your ass here and let something eat you, you little priss!"

But despite his off-handed words, the hands that slid under Byakuya's collapsed body were gentle as they lifted him, and the eleventh division captain only carried him to the nearest source of water so that he could wash his comrades oozing wounds.

"You should never have gotten so used to using that fancy shit," Kenpachi complained as he undressed Byakuya and carried him into the water, "You'd have been better off not wasting your time trying to get that shit to work and beating the hell out of them with your leg that wasn't tied to the tree and the hand that wasn't hanging on. What's wrong? You don't have natural survival instincts? Or were you waiting for your fucking servants to come along and fight'em for you?"

"Sh-shut up!" Byakuya panted, spitting out a mouthful of water, "And stop trying to drown me, you f-fool!"

"Hey," Zaraki said, grinning widely, "You're still alive. Great."

He let go of the noble and watched in amusement as Byakuya's naked body sank beneath the surface of the creek and disappeared for a moment, before emerging in an explosion of water that splashed all over his now laughing colleague.

"What? You don't know how to wash your own ass either?" he mocked the furious noble, "Well, I hate to tell you. We don't have any servants out here, so do it yourself. I ain't your nurse or your slave, so don't think I'm doin' it for you. If you're conscious, you fix yourself!"

"Bastard!" Byakuya fumed, "You think I should abandon my powers and use my hands and feet to pummel everything to death, do you? Well, why don't I start with you!"

"Bring it on, princess!" Kenpachi taunted him, "Let's see what you've got! You've gotta be better than those little wimps, even beat up like you are, so let's go!"

Byakuya launched himself at the other man, ignoring the stinging of his wounds and the ache of weariness and blood loss and landing the first blow, before falling into a scathing exchange of punches and kicks. Despite the poor condition of his body, he forced Kenpachi back several feet and landed a sharp blow to the other man's head with a feisty kick. He tensed, preparing to strike again, then staggered back as his injuries began to take their toll.

"Aww, damn," Kenpachi complained, watching as Byakuya's legs quivered beneath him, then gave way. leaving him in a heap at the bigger man's feet, "It was just starting to get good, too."

He sighed resignedly and collected his, once again unconscious, comrade, carrying him back to the water and carefully washing, then binding his wounds.

"Did you even notice you were naked?" he chuckled as he worked, "You don't look half bad without clothes, Kuchiki. You should go without'em more often. Guess that wouldn't go over so well at home, though, ne? Not much good for fighting either."

He finished his work and paused, looking down at Byakuya's naked and bandaged body, then leaning forward to clean the smudges of dirt and blood from his face.

"I'm probably not as thorough as your slaves at home, but I did my best, okay?"

"S-stupid ogre," Byakuya mumbled dizzily, "We d-don't have slaves. Th-they are...attendants."

"Same thing, toots."

"Will you p-please use my name when you speak to me?" the noble groaned.

"Okay, okay, fine, Byakuya," Kenpachi said, smirking.

"Perhaps you should just not speak to me," the injured noble sighed, "Even my name sounds like an insult when you say it."

"Hey, I just healed you and gave your naked ass a bath. You be nice or I'll start kicking it again."

"As though you could..."

"Shut up, will you? You're pissing me off when you can't back it up with a good fight. I'm not gonna kick a guy when he's down, so shut your yap and get some rest, okay?"

"May I at least have my clothes? I don't think I feel safe being naked around you."

"Why? Princess, if I wanted your ass, I could've had it already. You're cute, but I'm not interested in that shit."

Byakuya started to issue a heated reply, then paused and frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm curious," he confessed, looking back at the bigger man as he tossed the noble his clothes, "were you saying that you just weren't interested in me or is it falling in love that you wish to avoid?"

"Why? You looking for a boyfriend? I told you I'm not interested."

"Neither am I," Byakuya replied shortly, "But you didn't answer my question. which was it?"

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"I don't. I suppose it doesn't matter," Byakuya said, slipping back into his torn and bloodied shihakushou.

He followed quietly as Kenpachi led him into a forested area and picked out a hidden shelter in a cluster of bushes. Kenpachi set his back against a tree. Byakuya started to lay down on the ground a short distance away, but was stopped by the sound of his comrae's voice.

"Don't be so standoffish," he chuckled, "After all, you did say you wanted to date me."

"You're out of your mind!"

"I was kidding. You and I should sleep close together. It's cold."

"You smell bad."

"Get used to it. It's that or freeze to death."

"Hmmm."

"Get over here, will you?"

"Promise first you won't speak to me anymore while we're here."

"I told you to be nice. Or are you only nice to rich assholes like you?"

"Material wealth has nothing to do with how I treat a person."

"Then, how come you treat me like garbage?" Kenpachi asked, smirking.

"Because you smell like it," the noble answered dryly.

"How about neither of us talks to the other? How's that?"

"Works for me."

"Goodnight, Byakuya.

"Hmph..."

XXXXXXXXXX

_Squad 12 captain's log entry 212016: An interesting set of developments. It seems that brute does have a few redeeming qualities. When he saw Captain Kuchiki's life was actually threatened, he acted quickly and in a fiendishly brutal way to protect him, then saw to his wounds, only reverting to caveman behavior whenever Captain Kuchiki regained consciousness. It will be interesting to study this behavior in more detail. The two seemed to get rather more friendly for a few scant seconds before returning to hating each other._

_Ah, but the monitors indicate that Captain Kuchiki's wounds are depleting him. I will act to effect enough of a cure to leave him still a bit helpless, but not dying._

"Nemu! Send a drone to Captain Kuchiki to give him a transfusion of blood and reiatsu. The fool is going to die if someone doesn't do something. And as much as I love the idea of a world with one less stuffy noble in it, I do have work for that fool to do before I kill him."

"Yes, Master Mayuri," his vice captain answered, her hands flying over the keyboard in front of her.

Mayuri watched quietly as the drone crept into an opened senkaimon, then floated through the precipice world, passing through the wall of sludgy reiatsu and entering the pocket dimension where the six and eleventh squad captains were trapped. It buzzzed softly as it approached the two, then emitted a soft beeping as a long syringe emerged. It closed in on Byakuya, where the noble now laid, leaned up against a dozing Kenpachi. It reached Byakuya and hovered in front of him, moving in to begin the transfusion.

"Fucking mosquitos!" Kenpachi grumbled, swatting at the drone and sending it soaring away, where it struck a tree, crashed down into the water, where it fizzled and sparked, then quickly expired.

"Blasted MORON!" Mayuri roared, "NEMU!"


	3. Sharing Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya learns what Kenpachi did to save him...and chaos erupts!

_Squad 12 captain's log entry 212017: I think it's remarkable, the kinds of things a scientist encounters when dealing with dangerously unstable compounds. The constant threat to life from explosions, mingled with the temptation of new discovery is unexpectedly tantalizing. This time, the dangerous factor in my experiment is the mingling of the brutish and completely intractable captain of the eleventh division with the more refined, but every bit as deadly, Captain Kuchiki of the sixth. And although, for the most part, Captain Kuchiki is the more stable, he loses some of that stability when involved in dealings with Captain Zaraki. When working with chemicals, the result is usually a painful and devastating explosion. I wonder what will happen when our fairer comrade realizes what measures Captain Zaraki employed to save his life. This should be very, very interesting._

Mayuri turned his eyes to the monitor in front of him, watching curiously as the sun rose in the pocket realm the two captains were entrapped in and Byakuya stirred and began to come awake.

"Ugh," the noble groaned, opening his eyes into slits and grimacing as the first sight that met his eyes was a shirtless and grinning Kenpachi, who shoved a cup of hot tea into his hand and chuckled in greeting.

"Not feeling so good this morning, eh Kuchiki? Drink this. It will make you feel better."

Byakuya took a sip, then choked and coughed, spitting out the bitter concoction.

"This had better have some astonishing curative properties to compensate me for the egregious assault on my senses," he complained.

"Naw," the bigger man laughed, "it's just green tea. Shut up and drink it."

"Just tea," Byakuya repeated disbelievingly, "and tell me, exactly what contortions did you put those tea leaves through to arrive at such a travesty of flavors? The only fortunate thing in drinking it is that my taste buds are being burned into numbness so I won't have to suffer for very long."

"Does that mean you'll shut up and stop pissing and moaning about it?" Kenpachi asked, narrowing his eyes, "Cause that would be a good thing for me. Take it easy, all right? You had the shit pretty much knocked out of you. You're lucky to be alive to experience how bad my tea is. You should be six feet under, you know."

"I am all too aware of that," the noble sighed, his frown deepening, "In fact, I little know how I am still breathing."

He paused and looked down at his hands for a moment, extending his senses and examining his reiatsu. After a few moments, a look of confusion rose on his fine features and he turned his gaze on his fellow taichou.

"Kenpachi," he said, considering his words carefully as he spoke, "I...assume that you infused me with your reiatsu? I sense yours radiating in my body. You must have had to employ a number of infusions over much of the time I was unconscious. I do hope you managed to get some rest as well."

"You worried about me?" the bigger man asked, grinning.

"No. I simply know that we will likely need both your skills and mine to escape this horrid place at some point."

"You're worried about me," Kenpachi laughed, "I'm touched."

"I wasn't concerned for you," Byakuya said tersely, "I am concerned for our survival."

"Well, I have that in hand, okay? You should be quiet and rest some more."

"You probably need the rest more than I do after repeated infusions."

"I didn't do repeated infusions. I just gave you one really powerful one," Kenpachi explained.

"One...powerful one?" Byakuya inquired, his frown deepening.

"Yeah," the eleventh division taichou answered, crouching beside the fire he had built and stirring the contents of a large black pot, "Regular reiatsu wasn't going to do shit, so I used something with a little more kick."

"A little more...?"

Kenpachi scowled.

"What are you, slow?" he asked irascibly, "If reiatsu's not enough, there's always life juice."

"Life juice," Byakuya repeated in a horrified whisper.

Watching through the monitor, Mayuri cackled in amusement.

"Oh, this is to die for!" he exclaimed.

Back in the pocket dimension, Byakuya fixed widened grey eyes on Kenpachi's rebellious green ones and struggled for words.

"D-do you mean to tell me that you...used your own life force to bolster mine?" he inquired, the words making his insides clench, "Do you know what you have done?" Byakuya managed in a disbelieving tone.

"Yeah," Kenpachi said, resuming his more jovial demeanor, "I didn't let you die. You're welcome, by the way. You want some soup to go with that tea?"

"What? Are you trying to finish what those beastly little monsters started yesterday?" the noble asked, shaking his head, "You are out of your mind!"

"Hey, you don't have to be such a pain in the ass about it. It's just soup. And yeah, I'm not the best cook, but beggars can't be choosers, right?"

"I was talking about you filling my veins with your alarmingly uncontrolled and extremely pungent life force, you moron! Do you even remember that doing that is a crime? And there is a reason it is a crime. Life force is hard to manage. It is too easy to give too much and die."

"Well, I didn't, see? I'm still breathing!" Kenpachi snapped.

"And the mixing of two life forces, especially two captain level life forces can have explosive results!"

Kenpachi smirked.

"Well, you did pass a little gas while you were sleeping, but no one died, so it's fine, ne?"

Byakuya stared back at him in disbelief.

"Do you think this is some kind of joke?" he demanded furiously, "And...and aren't you the one always trying to kill things, especially me! You challenge me to fight to the death nearly on a daily basis."

"Well, how am I supposed to fight you if you're already dead?" the eleventh division captain posited, "I said I wanted to fight you to the death, not just watch you die all by yourself. It's more honorable to die fighting."

Byakuya's lips parted and a flustered look overcame his lovely features.

"But if you would go to such lengths to save me, why would you want to kill me yourself?"

Kenpachi studied his noble companion for a moment, then shrugged.

"Because you're strong enough to give me some level of challenge, especially after those quincy bastards almost did us in and you went up there to the royal realm and got yourself an upgrade."

"Ugh," Byakuya sighed, letting his face drop into his hands in capitulation, "You don't make sense at all. I mean, you would risk your own life to save mine, but then you'd take it just for fun. Don't you see how ridiculous that is? If you care for protecting someone's life, you shouldn't then take it yourself!"

"Maybe," Kenpachi shrugged, "but the truth is, you're really pretty when you fight."

Byakuya stared back at him wordlessly.

Kenpachi leaned closer, brushing a few stray hairs away from his face and Byakuya felt the oddest sense of those hands being caring, even loving in the way they touched him.

"Bold white reiatsu," he went on in a softer rumble of words, "curling all around you like an ice storm...death in those big grey eyes of yours. Your hair fluttering all around your face and your face smudged, not perfect or clean. The smell of sweat and blood is better mixed with that sweet smell that's always around you. And your clothes look good torn and stained with blood from the good fight, the kind you put your heart into and that you really want to win. You move like the swamp cougars down in the low Rukon where I grew up, stalking your opponent like prey and drawing them out to understand them before moving in and making the kill."

Byakuya gazed up into the bigger man's intense hazel eyes that were now much closer, his heart pounding strangely in his chest and his throat suddenly gone dry.

"Kenpachi," he said in an almost dazed tone, "you are a very, very deranged person."

"I'm crazy cause I think you're beautiful when you fight?"

"No," Byakuya said, his eyes darkening slightly as an image of his father flashed in his mind, "You're crazy because you glorify battle. I guess it's fine if you want to be out there yourself. But there are people who only fight because they have no other choice, people who trying to protect something or someone they care about. They lay down their lives without realizing that their lives are precious to the ones they leave behind. That is what I learned from losing my own father and from nearly dying at As Nodt's hands."

"So...what? You think we should all just lay down and let them slaughter us together?"

"No," the noble said impatiently, "but you shouldn't assume that throwing your life away or taking someone else's is fun. It's not fun to the people who get left behind...the ones who love you or the ones you slaughter."

"Byakuya," Kenpachi said, shaking his head, but still smiling slightly, "who the hell cares if I die? I'm a lowly thug from the low Rukon, not a noble prince like you. When you live in that place, the only thing you know is that you have to kill or you will be killed. Protecting someone just makes you an easier target."

"You protected Yachiru," the noble pointed out quietly.

Kenpachi nodded.

"She was never a burden. She was born knowing how to stay out of the way and out of trouble. She was never a defenseless little tyke that needed me that badly."

"But you are protective of her. That much became clear when you could not find her after the second invasion of the quincies."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't like it if she got killed, you know?"

"I didn't like it when my father was killed...but at least he was killed doing something important, something honorable. He wasn't throwing his life away for fun."

"What about that shit you were spouting a minute ago?" Kenpachi asked pointedly, "That stuff about how dying in battle hurts the people you try to protect? How does the way someone you loved died matter anyway? Dying honorably, dying stupidly, they're still just as dead, ne? And that's a place we're all going anyway, isn't it? So, why not get strong and have fun trying to stay alive in a world that's already going to kill you?"

Byakuya paused, blinking in surprise at the confusing swirl of emotions the other man's words conjured in him.

"You okay, Kuchiki? You need a little more life juice?" Kenpachi chuckled.

"You really are insane," the noble said, shaking his head and sighing resignedly, "but I suppose I should at least thank you for saving my life. I think, however, that you should be glad that you're not of noble origin...because sharing life force? I've read in the old stories, the ones from before the practice was banned. When noble men fell in love and exchanged their life forces, it created an unbreakable bond. From that day, the two were inseparable, the passions between them so strong that they could give themselves only to each other, that even when apart, they could feel each other's pain, see through each other's eyes. And even though they were male, one could give the other a child."

"What?" Kenpachi snorted, blowing a measure of his tea out of his nose, "Are you shitting me, Kuchiki?"

"No," Byakuya confirmed, "It is well documented, although the documentation is carefully controlled so that not so much is known about the process by the general population. Even knowing about such a thing might encourage it's use...and the elders of the time in which it was banned saw the danger in that."

"Yeah, well we've got no need to worry," Kenpachi laughed softly, "If we want to have sex, we're in the clear, right?"

"Did you really just say that to me?" Byakuya mused, rolling his eyes.

"Heh, I was just kidding, Kuchiki. I know I've got no business touching a prince like you. Though...who doesn't want to touch something soft like that sometimes?"

"You're out of your mind," Byakuya said, closing his eyes.

He felt something change inexplicably in front of him and opened them again to find Kenpachi's face was much closer and the bigger man's hazel eyes were glaring deeply into his.

"What are you doing?" he managed in a whisper, "Kenpachi..."

"You married a Rukon girl," Kenpachi remembered, "You don't hate what's not like you. You get curious, don't you? You want to touch what's on the other side of the fence, ne?"

"Hisana was nothing like you."

"No."

"She never belonged in the low Rukon. She was too gentle..."

"And it ate her alive, even though you tried to save her."

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes.

"Hey, don't get all weepy," Kenpachi chided him, "We all have people we love, but can't protect. It doesn't make you a bad person. You tried, right? You took her away from there, gave her a good home and all of your affection. Just because she died anyway doesn't mean it was all for nothing. You loved each other, right? You had five years together."

"We did," Byakuya agreed, "and despite her illness, there were many good times."

"See, so it wasn't a wasted effort. Each of you gave and got. You shared things that meant something."

"Yes."

"Well, you must have really loved her to still look sad when people mention her fifty something years later. Or maybe it isn't sadness, really. You just look lonely. You ever consider remarrying?"

"I suppose I will have to, at some point," Byakuya answered, frowning, "I have an obligation, being the most powerful and the clan's leader, to continue my legacy for the clan's benefit."

"But don't you miss having someone? I haven't had anyone like that, so I couldn't tell you how it is with me. I just think that it would be good to have that. If you have a choice, why not?"

"Why not?" Byakuya repeated, his dark, smoky eyes meeting Kenpachi's again and remaining firmly locked.

The two remained frozen for several long moments, a heady feeling of dark temptation teasing both men dangerously. And before he quite realized it was happening, Byakuya leaned forward very slowly, bringing his lips to the other man's and brushing against them lightly. Kenpachi flinched and stared, stunned into silence at the softness of the lips that sought his and overcome by the mingled scents of sakura and fiery, scorched earth. His arms slipped around the slighter man, pulling him closer as he bit down on that sinfully soft mouth, then teased it open and slipped his tongue inside to explore more thoroughly. Byakuya's hands came to rest on his shoulders, neither quite holding on nor pushing him away. The noble's eyes closed against what was happening and even though he knew very well it was wrong, he couldn't make himself move to stop what was happening. Instead, he kept his eyes closed and opened his mouth wider to permit even deeper penetration.

_Kissing Hisana was never like this, he mused inwardly, She was fragile and I was always having to hold back my reiatsu so I wouldn't overwhelm her. I could never relax into our kisses like this. Kenpachi won't break and neither will I. We can love each other more ruthlessly. I never realized what an attractive thing that was._

_But..._

His mind went blank for a moment as he felt Kenpachi's hand loose the tie on his yukata and he slid onto the bigger man's lap, returning Kenpachi's kisses with equal ferocity. Heat and reiatsu flared around the two, exciting the breezes around them and making the leaves in the trees flutter. But neither man noticed a thing, wholly focused on each other as they kissed with more fervor and Byakuya ground his hips into the other man's, reeling at the size of his burgeoning erection, unable to fathom how he would dare to take that monstrous and fiercely hot arousal inside himself. But he couldn't move or object as the bigger man's fingers slid down between them and one slid into his entrance. Kenpachi's mouth ravaged his into silence as the finger probed deeply, hooked, then slid out and in again. Byakuya groaned and pressed downward with his hips to deepen the contact, making Kenpachi chuckle and nip teasingly at his throat as he added a second finger.

Byakuya panted and writhed restlessly as the bigger man's fingers moved, causing little shivers up and down his spine and heavy flickers of arousal in his own loins. He almost jumped out of his skin when Kenpachi's free hand wrapped around his neglected and very swollen cock, sliding up and down its length as the fingers inside the noble thrust and stretched him. He barely held onto his composure as Kenpachi added a third finger and he went nearly breathless as Kenpachi's hand captured his hip and guided him with unusual care as he brought the leaking head of his huge cock to the noble's entrance and worked his way inside in a series of short, measured thrusts.

Byakuya's head dropped onto Kenpachi's damp, muscular shoulder and he panted harshly at the sting. He expected the other man to be impatient and to move immediately, but to his surprise, Kenpachi held perfectly still, his rough hands sliding up and down Byakuya's slender back.

"You okay?" the bigger man asked in a low, husky voice that suggested the restraint wasn't so easy for him.

"Fine," Byakuya answered, suspecting that his words were somewhat of a lie, but overwhelmed with a pressing need for completion, "Move!"

Kenpachi's hips bucked upward, dragging a heavy groan from deep in Byakuya's heaving chest. He moved with the bigger man, burning in the hard flares of their reiatsu and not having to open his eyes to know they would be met with a wild, feral glare. Nothing mattered at all except rising and falling, straining for that blissful explosion. He was sure it would have to hurt, but he couldn't help thinking that it was also stunningly beautiful, being touched in ways and places he had never been touched. And being touched in that deep, secret place that made stars catch fire behind his eyes and sent shivers up and down his spine was, he thought, worth the slight discomfort. His eyelids fluttered and his moans thickened as he felt the approach of something that was nothing short of heavenly.

"Kenpachi!" he managed, unable to believe that such a savage could cause such a strong elation in his loins and all over his body as his pleasure peaked and the hard shudders of release began.

Then everything disappearing into a haze of heat and light as Kenpachi groaned and unleashed himself completely. It was a moment that was as terrifying as it was beautiful and as dangerous as it was fulfilling. Byakuya felt everything disappear for a moment, then found himself lying on his back under the bigger man's collapsed form. Although trapped, he certainly felt no discomfort in his comrade's warm embrace, so he fought off the urge to say anything and instead closed his eyes again and slowly surrendered to sleep.

_It's impossible, of course._

_It only happened because we were trapped here and I let my guard down with him._

_But it will be fine._

_Once we go home, we'll regain our senses and forget about this._

Back in his lab, Mayuri looked up and found Nemu standing frozen and staring at the image of the two copulating captains.

"Stop ogling those two and get back to what I told you to do!" he scolded her.

He shook his head and returned his attention to the screen, cackling softly as the two climaxed violently, then collapsed together.

"A fascinating experiment," he muttered, "but it's a good thing for Soul Society that they are trapped in that pocket dimension and not where they could cause real damage."


End file.
